When Mark’s wife, Sara, was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s, he believed his toughest battle would be facing the disease itself. Sara was the love of his life, his high school sweetheart, and the mother of their two children. They had built a life together filled with laughter, road trips, and Sunday mornings sipping coffee while the kids played in the yard. Her diagnosis shattered that idyllic world, and as the disease progressed, Mark found himself transitioning from partner to full-time caregiver.

Mark’s days were consumed by managing Sara’s medications, redirecting her anxiety, and ensuring she felt safe in a world that no longer made sense to her. Despite his relentless efforts, his friends and family admired his dedication but subtly suggested he "wasn’t cut out" for caregiving, hinting that it was a woman’s role. The same hands that once wrote love notes on napkins now guided Sara when she forgot how to brush her teeth. Nights were the hardest—after tucking her into bed, he would sit in the dark, battling tears and questioning if he was doing enough or if he could keep this up. Menn are often considered invisible warriors and there is a cost of overlooking male caregivers.
Adding to this complexity were the gendered expectations Mark faced. His brother-in-law suggested he hire someone to help with Sara, hinting that hands-on caregiving was better suited for women. His own mother often commented that Mark was “too soft” with Sara, while praising her daughter-in-law for stepping in with practical help. Mark began to wonder: Was this bias around caregiving roles preventing others from offering him meaningful support?
Mark’s story isn’t unique—male caregivers often feel invisible in a world that equates caregiving with women.
The Silent Rise of Male Caregivers
While caregiving is often viewed as a women’s role, the statistics tell a different story. Over 40% of caregivers in the U.S. are men, and that number is climbing due to aging populations, longer lifespans, and changing family dynamics. These men—husbands, sons, brothers, and even fathers—are stepping up to care for loved ones with dementia. Yet, they remain underrepresented and unsupported in caregiving spaces.
In families, gendered expectations frequently define roles. Men may take on financial and logistical responsibilities, while women handle the emotional labor and hands-on care. While these divisions might seem practical, they often leave male caregivers disconnected from the emotional depth of the caregiving journey, as well as the satisfaction of providing direct support.
The Challenges Male Caregivers Face
1. Social Stigma
Society’s gender norms often cast men as providers rather than nurturers. When a man takes on a caregiving role, it can lead to unwarranted judgments or condescending attitudes. Some men internalize these stigmas, feeling ashamed or inadequate for expressing emotions or seeking help.
2. Emotional Isolation
Caregiving can be an isolating experience, and male caregivers are less likely than their female counterparts to reach out for emotional support. Traditional expectations of stoicism and strength may cause them to suppress their feelings, leading to burnout and depression.
3. Limited Resources
Many support groups and caregiving resources are unintentionally geared towards women. This can make men feel out of place or excluded, reducing the likelihood that they will seek assistance.
4. Financial Strain and Career Pressure
Men often face the dual burden of caregiving while being expected to maintain full-time jobs. The financial cost of dementia care can be immense, leaving male caregivers struggling to juggle work responsibilities and their roles at home.
Changing the Stigma Around Male Caregivers
Breaking down societal expectations and biases around male caregiving is critical for creating a more inclusive support system. Here are a few ways to start:
· Normalize Men in Caregiving Roles: Public campaigns, media portrayals, and education should show men as compassionate caregivers. Highlighting their successes can help shift perceptions.
· Offer Gender-Inclusive Caregiving Resources: Support groups and educational resources need to be explicitly welcoming to men. Even small adjustments—such as male-focused marketing or testimonials—can make resources feel more relevant.
· Encourage Family Collaboration: Encourage open discussions in families to break traditional gender roles. Caregiving should not be assumed to be women’s work; shared responsibilities benefit everyone.
· Celebrate Male Caregivers Publicly: Recognizing men’s contributions to caregiving through awards, testimonials, or features in caregiving spaces validates their efforts and sets an example.
· Foster Emotional Openness: Society must create safe spaces for men to express vulnerability. Empowering male caregivers to share their stories helps others feel less isolated.
A Call to Action: Join the Movement to Recognize Male Caregivers
If you know a male caregiver, take a moment to recognize and validate their role. Offer your support—whether through words, actions, or simply listening without judgment. Encourage male caregivers to connect with support groups, share their experiences, and seek resources tailored to their unique needs. If you're in a position to create change—through media, education, or policymaking—consider advocating for the visibility and celebration of male caregivers.
Mark’s story, like so many others, reveals not just the challenges of caregiving but also the resilience of those who step into the role. Together, we can build a society where male caregivers feel seen, supported, and valued for the compassionate warriors they are.
Barbara J. Huelat Caregiver, Healthcare Design Specialist, Speaker & Author Championing compassionate care and innovative solutions for dementia.Visit My Website | Discover more resources | Subscribe to my NewsletterLike my blogs? Please like! Like my book? Please add a review!
Barbara Huelat, a dynamic force in healthcare design, author, and speaker, shares her expertise in her latest publication, Taming the Chaos of Dementia. With her profound understanding and passion for the subject, she offers practical wisdom on navigating dementia care with empathy and skill, transforming this complex challenge into an empowering journey. Explore Barbara's insights at barbarahuelat.com or call 703-795-1743 for an enriching experience.
Barbara: your suggestions are great. I agree with your approaches wholeheartedly. Good work.
Thanks for the reminder. Men are great caregivers and we need all the help we can get. Thank you guys for stepping up!